Part 17, Mar. 3, 2009
TO
ALL SUPPORT TROOPS: REPORT FROM COMMANDER BLACKIE AND PRINCESS YODA ON
INITIAL INTENSIVE INTERROGATION AND DEBRIEFING SESSIONS. TUESDAY,
MARCH 3, 11AM
The Three Kitty Kommandos are all home at the
Three Kitty Headquarters in Point Arena. Jack and Jan came home
on Saturday (ahead of the storm). Princess Yoda and Commander
Blackie were properly ransomed, stuffed into their Vehicle Transport
Capsules (the cat car carriers) and successfully transported, via the
shuttlecraft Millennium Pigeon (Jack's Jeep), from the On-Leave Rest
and Recreation Center (the kennel) back to Headquarters on Sunday
during a brief break in the wet weather.
Intensive interrogation
commenced immediately with Jan serving as THE LAP for the Princess and
the Commander simultaneously all Sunday evening. At bedtime, the
Princess retook her throne-sofa while Commander Blackie continued
debriefing sessions all night on Jan's bed. Even though Jan's
lower g.i. tract sometimes interrupted the debriefing and interrogation
sessions, the kitties are pleased to announce that all is "space
normal" at Headquarters.
While at el-FOT, in the Forward
Observation Tower (the apartment in Santa Rosa), Jan and Jack continued
Commander Blackie's secret research into a new energy source.
Below is Blackie's interim report.
TO ALL TECH-TROOPS IN RESEARCH AREA 51 AND AREA 52 WITH COPY TO ALL SUPPORT TROOPS: RE: POTENTIAL NEW ENERGY SOURCE
During
a recent 6-week tour of el-FOT, in the Forward Observation Tower, a
new, potential energy source was observed and research has begun.
On days when it was cold outside and the artificial heating system was
maintaining el-FOT at a temperature comfortable for humans, after
walking across a carpet or sofa, and then touching a human or a metal
object, a spark occurs. Jan referred to this as "static
leg-tricity". Experiments are now being conducted by rubbing
various fibers (wool, silk, synthetic) to explore and calibrate this
phenomenon.
The goal of the experiment is to optimize the
voltage generated by this "static leg-tricity" effect so that its
energy can be harnessed to operate the various equipment that humans
need to assist their meager lives. Optimally, a dog should be
employed on a treadmill made of the proper fiber. The dog should
be trained to periodically touch its nose, paw or tail to a metal
button. (Pavlov, move over - or roll over or fetch. [These
are all things that felines could do but they choose not to, thereby,
once again, proving superior intellect.]) The "static
leg-tricity" can then be channeled as needed.
This effect seems
to be localized to el-FOT and not available at Three Kitty
Headquarters. The Headquarters is in a more mild climate and only
a mile from the ocean and there may be a correlation between "static
leg-tricity" and lack of moisture. More experimentation is
required when Jan and Jack next venture to el-FOT in mid-March
(currently scheduled for March 15).
Until next time, your Three Kitty Kombatants, Commander Blackie, Princess Yoda, Jack, and
J -